Strange Love 2011: After Hours
by SilverTurtle
Summary: Here it is again, the Strange Love M Collection. This is the place where all M rated stories featuring random pairings will be posted. Information on participating contained within along with all the juicy stuff we couldn't put in the other Strange Love.
1. Intro by SilverTurtle

**A/N: **_It's that time of year again. The time when all we authors get together and write all the strangest Suite Life pairings random drawings can give us. Yes, this is the beginning of the Strange Love collection! We encourage everyone to read, review, and participate with their own stories!_

*****'*****

**SWEET DREAMS**

**by SilverTurtle**

_This is strange_, Addison thought as she was laid out naked on a soft bed in a dark room, _but I kind of like it_.

She couldn't see the face of the person hovering above her who was tenderly, almost reverently, caressing her skin but she could tell from the shape of the silhouette that her lover was female. If not for the shape she'd have been able to tell from the softness of her hands, the warm press of heavy breasts against her own chest, and the lack of a bulge at the apex of her lover's thighs.

She lay back against the pillows, her hair splayed all around her head, her hands tangled in her lover's hair as they kissed fervently. She could feel hands on her, one gently cupping her breast the other stroking down her side and over her hip. Her body was flushed with arousal, the heat of it slicking her body with sweat and causing her heart to beat more rapidly. She felt her lover's body press down into her, curves meeting curves in a delicious press of heated flesh. A different sort of slickness build between her legs with every touch and her body canted up towards her lover needing more solid contact.

The thumping of her heart was echoed by the rushing in her ears, her quick pants and pleading gasps, and her hips rocking to gain friction against the smooth thigh dropped between her legs. Warm lips gave way to a hot tongue as her lover traveled down her body nibbling her neck here, teasing her nipple there, licking a swath along the underside of her breast, tickling her ribs and abs, dipping briefly into her navel before sliding down and down further to part her folds and gather the wetness there in long lapping strokes.

Addison keened with want. Her body ached for release, burned for it. The pounding of her heart produced a corresponding pulsing in her sex, aroused to the point of pain and desperate for more. More of what she wasn't quite sure, but more. More.

Her fingers still fisted in her lover's hair she unconsciously pushed and tugged, guiding her lover's mouth to where she needed it most. Her body rocked forcefully in her need. She ground down pressing her sex harder and harder to her lover's mouth completely unaware of what she was doing as she sought her release.

A soothing hand smoothed around her thigh to rest upon her abdomen and press down, preventing her from her uncontrolled movements. Another hand parted her legs a little further before finding her clit and starting up a quick rhythm there that made Addison twitch and buck and cry out as heat coiled in the pit of her stomach tighter and tighter.

A questing tongue kept lapping between her folds while fingers worked their driving pace.

She was close. So close. Every part of her body was tensed, coated with sweat, quivering with need. Her breathing was ragged desperate gasps, sucking air into straining lungs to release it in guttural grunts and moans.

Fingers kept their rhythm as her lover rose up and slid their bodies together, once more driving a thigh between her legs which was immediately slicked as Addison pressed wantonly along it. That thigh was pressed into her harder and harder while fingers moved faster and faster still.

Addison's body writhed sinuously to the rhythm of those fingers. Her hands abandoned her lover's hair to clutch at rocking hips and drag them down for more forceful contact. She heard her lover moan as her thigh reflexively came up for more leverage and pressed hard into a dripping sex. It spurred her on further. She pushed her thigh more firmly against her lover, the bucking of her own hips setting a new rhythm as the two rocked together, straining towards release, their bodies pressed so tightly together not a whisper of air could pass between them.

Suddenly those fingers pinched and the heat coiled in Addison's body sprang loose and sent her headlong into a blinding orgasm. The world around her, already so dark, went pitch black and wave after wave of pleasure broke within her. She threw her head back in a wordless cry as her hips kept rocking, milking every shockwave and prolonging her pleasure. For several long moments she lost awareness of self as she was submerged in the feeling of euphoria.

She became aware of herself and, more importantly, of her lover still straining against her thigh. Not wanting to be alone in her bliss she thrust her leg up roughly to her lover's core, over and over, aiding her efforts. Her lover ground down forcefully, hips pushing against Addison's, her head dropped to Addison's shoulder as her arms wrapped around Addison's frame and squeezed.

Her lover shifted for a better angle, unintentionally dragging her thigh along Addison's sensitive sex and setting her ablaze with arousal again. Addison didn't let the feeling overwhelm her this time. Instead she rocked with her lover, hands pressing them together, faster and faster until her lover went rigid above her and Addison allowed herself to careen over the edge once more.

***'***

Addison opened her eyes and blinked at the light. Her roommate peered worriedly into her face and Addison shrieked and rolled off her bed. She landed with a heavy thump on the floor and her hand pressed over her thundering heart.

"What are you doing?" she demanded wide-eyed and breathing hard.

"Trying to wake you up!" her startled roommate shouted back, "You were having a nightmare or something. It must have been pretty bad because you were rolling all around and moaning and stuff."

"A nightmare?" Addison said to herself and blushed. Her roommate definitely did not need to know she'd been having a sex dream, "Yes. Yes, that was some doozy. I should really stop eating Fluffer Nutters before bed. Thanks for waking me."

"Sure," her roommate said slowly, "it's nearly time to get up anyway. You want first shower?"

"Uh," Addison was still trying to make sense of everything, the fog of sleep and haze of pleasure clouding her mind. She felt her pajamas sticking to her damply and answered, "Yes."

***'***

Later that day as they joined a group of vacationers in a ship sponsored activity Addison's mind went back to that dream.

_A sex dream_, she thought with shiver of thrill running down her spine, _with a woman!_

"Alright everyone," Connie, the ship's Funtivities director, called out, "get in your teams! We're about to start."

Addison startled out of her thoughts and looked up at Connie...and stared dumbfounded.

She knew that mouth, it had been a prominent feature in her dream. And those well manicured hands. And that particular hair style. And that thigh, oh that thigh.

"It was you!" Addison accused with a pointing finger.

Connie jumped, startled, and looked at Addison with a furrowed brow and a confused smile, "Excuse me? It was me, what?"

Addison went bright red and stammered quickly, "Nothing. Nothing at all. I have to go now. People to do, things to dream...I mean, shoot! Things to do, people to dream. No, dangit! I have to leave. Now. I'm going. Right now. Leaving." Addison looked shifty eyed at all the people watching her curiously. She turned on her heel, blush still burning in her cheeks, and ran while calling out, "Bye!"

Connie watched her confused, then shrugged. _That girl_, she thought, _needs to cut back on the sugar_.

**THE END**

*****'*****

_**Pairing:** Connie/Addison. Connie was the Activities Director on the S.S. Tipton, she has appeared in 2 episodes and is played by Jennifer Tisdale. Addison is a classmate of Zack and Cody on the S.S. Tipton and is played by Rachael Kathryn Bell. _

**If you're interested in participating in this year's collection here's what you need to know: **_The collection runs until March 20__th__, anyone is welcome to participate, and pairings are totally random. If you're interested in participating PM Lodylodylody and she will send you a pairing. If you don't like your initial pairing you get one do-over, but then MUST write for the do-over pairing. No incest pairings will be given out. Stories may be any rating (M stories will be posted in the M collection). You are welcome to request the type of pairing you'd prefer (m/f, m/m, f/f, or anything goes) when you ask for a pairing but remember the characters you receive will be assigned TOTALLY at RANDOM. You may not request a specifically SLOZAC or SLOD pairing, couples are drawn AT RANDOM, all the characters are in the same hat and free game...if you receive a pairing you're unfamiliar with please take a moment to look up the characters on YouTube or Wikipedia for more information. No pairings that are illegal due to age differences. No depictions of or allusions to sex between adults and minors. If someone were given a pairing of an adult and minor, their story must be set in a time period where the younger character is 18 or over. The only exception to this is if you wish to write a story where the younger character is a minor and is portrayed as having a one-sided crush on or infatuation with the older character. All characters that have appeared in the Suite Life series are eligible to be drawn for these stories, including the crossover characters. All stories must be ONE-SHOTS, complete in one chapter. You are welcome to submit as many stories as you can write. For further details about __the rules please visit the 'Strange Love 2010' thread in Lodylodylody's forum boards. Stories should be sent via docX to Lodylodylody, James Doyle (for T and below rated), and to SilverTurtle (for M rated). Have fun everyone!_


	2. SilverTurtle I

**ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING**

**By SilverTurtle**

Eeeeyah tossed her head back and moaned throatily when two slick digits entered her throbbing core. Her hips rocked into every thrust of the hand pistoning between her legs seeking even more contact, needing deeper penetration.

Soft lips curled around her stiff nipple to ease the barest fraction of the needy ache she felt. Teeth and tongue working the hardened nub until it was raw and almost too sensitive to touch before switching to the other neglected mound.

She fisted the fingers of one hand in the long black hair of her lover to encourage their attentions to her breast. Her other hand clutched tightly to the edge of the bed, knuckles white and muscles straining as she was pushed closer and closer to her peak.

"Faster," she gasped, "please, London, faster."

The pace picked up on her command.

She keened softly, the noise a pleading little sound spilling from her lips as she tried to drive herself harder onto the fingers pumping into her.

"So close," she breathed. "More," it was another command, but one that London ignored. "London," the tone of Eeeeyah's voice prompted London to look up from her work and make eye contact, "London, more." London blinked, processing the order, and slipped a third finger in with no warning. Eeeeyah's head dropped heavily to the mattress and she hissed her approval, "Yesss."

The driving pace continued unabated. London's fingers moved smoothly through Eeeeyah's wetness, sweetly stretching tight walls and hitting the spot that made Eeeeyah see stars. Heat coiled in the pit of her stomach as London built pleasure upon pleasure, hands working in concert with lips and tongue to send Eeeeyah to the brink.

She felt her muscles beginning to tense around those talented fingers, felt the first waves of orgasm coaxed out of her, then London twisted her fingers just so and Eeeeyah's eyes slammed shut and colors burst in her mind while her whole body tensed and shook and flooded and she bit her fist to keep from screaming.

She was still rocking her hips as aftershocks made her muscles twitch. She pulled her fist out of her mouth and stared at the marks her teeth left behind, blinking hard to get her eyes to actually focus. She reached down and stilled London's gently moving hand, "No more." London sat up, hands in her lap, and went still.

A beep heralded the intercom coming to life with robot Moseby's irate voice, "Eeeeyah, are you finished modifying the London-bot yet? Young Mr. Tipton expects it to be ready in time for his party tonight."

Eeeeyah sat up and straightened her clothes. She moved over to the intercom and pressed a button while watching the now dormant robot, "Just a few more tweaks and a final cleaning and she'll be perfect."

"Excellent!" robot Moseby's voice was jovial now, "Please see that she's delivered on time. Moseby out."

Eeeeyah sighed. She combed her fingers through the deactivated robot's hair, pressing down in a particular place at the base of the skull and opening a hidden panel, "I'll just take that program chip out and you'll be back to normal and good to go." She pulled out a small plastic chip and closed the panel again, making sure no hair got caught, "Too bad you're not the real London. She and I could have had some fun. Oh well."

Eeeeyah pocketed the chip and cleaned London-bot thoroughly, then reactivated her. "Come on, London. Rome is waiting for you with a new dress."

London-bot perked up. She clapped and chirped London's favorite catch-phrase as she was led out the door, "Yay me!"

**THE END**

*****'*****

_**Pairing:**_ _London/Eeeeyah. London, played by Brenda Song, needs no introduction. Eeeeyah was the very attractive blue alien version of Emma Tutweiller (Erin Cardillo) in episode 2x26 "Starship Tipton."_


	3. Snapplelinz I

_**A/N:** A slightly AU story which contrasts with Suite Life on Deck canon. Enjoy! _

**What Doesn't Kill You**

By Snapplelinz

****'*****

Max was a mess.

Everything had been great a month ago.

A month ago, she had been doing well at school; basketball was great and Barbara had still been her best friend. But now, everything was completely ruined and it was all her fault.

Granted, it hadn't been perfect a month ago. Even though she had put on a brave front, Max's emotions had been all over the place and leading a double life had begun to take its toll on her. Then again, being in love with your best friend who just happened to be another girl wasn't exactly the easiest thing in the world to deal with, especially when you were a teenage girl trying to figure yourself out.

Max honestly still didn't know how it had come about. She and Barbara had known each other since they were kids, although they hadn't been as close as they were now. They became best friends around the time that they first befriended the Martin twins; when Max had a crush on Zack and Barbara and Cody eventually started dating.

After one appalling date that neither of them had ever brought up again, Zack and Max had remained steadfast friends while Cody and Barbara had broken up after he and Zack had gone to Seven Seas Academy aboard the S.S. Tipton. Cody and Barbara had parted ways at the twins' farewell party and she had subsequently hooked up with Bob, her new boyfriend and the twins' best friend, on the same night.

Max had been oddly depressed when Barbara and Bob had gone to visit the twins aboard the S.S. Tipton to tell Cody that they were a couple. Even though it had barely been a week, Max had missed her best friend a great deal. They were as different as night and day: Max was a tom-boy and sporty while Barbara was girly and book-smart. But in spite of that, they complemented each other in their varying interests and tastes. Max could talk to Barbara about anything and everything under the sun.

With her raven black hair, chocolate brown eyes and cute button nose, Max had always thought that Barbara was beautiful. But it wasn't till she and Bob had returned from their cruise and the Mediterranean sun had given Barbara's skin a golden brown tinge that Max began spiralling into a world of emotions that she had never felt before regarding her best friend.

She had ignored it for as long as possible, revelling in hers and Barbara's close friendship whenever they hung out together. But it became more and more difficult to see the way that Barbara looked at Bob on countless occasions when they were all hanging out together. It wasn't a perfect relationship by any means, but Max knew that Barbara was beginning to fall hard for Bob and it was happening right in front of her eyes. It was only a matter of time before they took their relationship to the next level.

Max began withdrawing from Barbara bit by bit, much to the latter's disappointment since she didn't know what had changed between the two of them. She began cutting class and Zack, of all people, had been the first to notice. He and Cody had returned to Cheevers High for junior year and he and Max had resumed their close friendship just like before. He finally confronted her and Max broke down, revealing her deepest darkest secret.

She was so relieved when she finally spoke the words into existence. And Zack didn't flinch or look at her any differently. On the contrary, Zack took up the trusty stead of friendship very seriously by comforting Max as best as he could and encouraging her to come clean to Barbara about her growing feelings for her. Even though Max was dying to tell Barbara the truth, she was resistant right to the end.

But then a drunken night at a party at Amber Dawson's house had changed everything.

Zack had tried his best to keep a close eye on Max during the party, especially when that jerk, Drew Franklin, handed her a flask to liven her up. But somehow, he had lost sight of her in the crowd and she had stumbled in a drunken stupor up the stairs to Amber's bedroom to lie down and stop her head from spinning. Barbara, who had seen Max at the party, followed her upstairs in a bid to talk to her about why she'd been avoiding her for a good two weeks now.

"Max?" Barbara asked in confusion.

"Tha's my name, don't wear it out," Max responded with a nonchalant slur before burping loudly.

She was sprawled out on top of Amber's bed and breathing heavily while she tried to collect herself before going back downstairs. Barbara sat down uncertainly next to her on the bed, her hands in her lap.

"God, you smell like a brewery. What the hell have you been drinking tonight?" she asked in a scandalised tone.

"I don't know, but Drew gave me this pretty flask," Max explained with a drunken giggle while handing Barbara the silver flask.

Barbara unscrewed the cap on the bottle tentatively and took a whiff. She screwed up her nose in revulsion, the smell burning at the veins inside her nose.

"Wow, that's strong stuff," she noted dryly before screwing the lid back on.

"And tasty," Max noted matter-of-factly with a click of her fingers.

"Max, what the fuck are you doing? This isn't like you at all, getting smashed at a party." Barbara remonstrated painstakingly.

"Maybe this is the real me and you just didn't notice, Bar-bra," Max drawled facetiously, going slightly cross-eyed at the same time while she spoke.

"Would you cut the crap and just tell me what's going on? Why have you been avoiding me for the past two weeks? Did I do something to upset you?" Barbara questioned pleadingly.

"Nope. I'm the one that screwed up," Max admitted soberly while staring off into space.

She had finally stopped giggling and sat back up on the bed, her legs dangling over the sides in a similar position to Barbara.

"How did you screw up? Max, you're the coolest and sweetest girl I know. What could you have possibly done?" Barbara asked kindly while gently removing tendrils of Max's clammy brown hair off of her cheeks.

"Stop saying that!" Max exclaimed abruptly, taking Barbara completely by surprise.

"Stop saying what?" Barbara asked blankly, idly wondering why Max was so angry at her.

"That! Stop being you! You're just so smart and beautiful and sweet. I hate that," Max complained with a visible pout on her face.

"O-k…" Barbara trailed off uncertainly.

"That's not true. I love that, and I love you." Max added, changing tune abruptly.

"And I love you too, sweetie. You're my best friend in the whole wide world," Barbara answered truthfully.

"You don't get it!" Max fumed indignantly.

"What don't I get? What's going on, Max?" Barbara pressed firmly, evidently disturbed by Max's lack of coherence and sobriety.

Instead of explaining with words, Max decided to show Barbara exactly what she meant. Even though her movements were quite wobbly and uncoordinated, she still managed to shift her body closer to Barbara's till they were face to face. And then she inched closer and closer till she could make out the tiny beauty spot on the left corner of Barbara's mouth right before she melded their lips together.

Barbara was far too stunned to even think about breaking the kiss. So all she could do was sit there dumbly while Max assaulted her mouth, her tongue darting out and licking gently at the contours of her thin lips. When they finally broke apart, Max realised all too clearly by the look of utter shock on Barbara's face what she had just done. This sobered her up just enough to emit a strangled sob before she staggered out of the bedroom, leaving Barbara sitting on Amber's bed with an astonished expression.

****'****

Max hadn't spoken to Barbara since the night at Amber's party. Even though she had been drunk, she vividly remembered kissing Barbara and the look on Barbara's face after she had done it. It had been a whole month of constantly avoiding her at school and leaving through the locker room after every basketball practice just so she wouldn't run into Barbara coming out of the English classroom while working on the school paper. Bob had stopped her in the cafeteria on several occasions to ask if everything was ok between her and Barbara, but Max only offered a non-committal shrug before hurrying away each time.

Just looking at Bob these days made guilt swirl around in the pit of Max's stomach every time she thought about the fact that she had kissed his girlfriend. Zack was the only one she had told about that night and she had spent many a day after school crying on his shoulder when she thought about how she had ruined her perfect friendship with Barbara.

"I still wish you'd let me come over and cheer you up. There's a 'Monster Truck' special on tonight," Zack pleaded for the umpteenth time over the phone.

Max grinned slightly at this while twirling the phone cord absent-mindedly around her index finger.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'd rather just be alone tonight, Zack." Max explained patiently while pacing the length of her bedroom in her PJ's.

"Ok, but let the record show that I don't think this is a very good idea. You shouldn't be alone tonight, especially with things being weird between you and Barbara and your parents out of town, Max." Zack persisted vehemently.

"And I appreciate your concern, but stop worrying already, Zack. I put the alarm on downstairs and Shaq's outside in the backyard guarding the perimeter," Max responded mildly.

"I still can't believe that you named your Airdale Terrier 'Shaq'. That dog is smaller than Snoopy," Zack teased over the phone.

"Hey, no hatin' on my mutt, Zachary. And he's not smaller than Snoopy," Max retorted reprovingly.

"Maybe so, but that dog is not equipped to guard any perimeter." Zack remarked knowingly.

"Fine. Then I'll just let him back into the house through the doggy door and I'll guard the perimeter myself, problem solved. I promise I'll be ok tonight, Zack." Max declared earnestly.

"I don't believe you, but I respect your need for privacy. I'm still going to call you back around midnight just to make sure that you and Shaq haven't been eaten by cougars and shit," Zack responded seriously.

"Ok, Captain America. Talk to you then," Max greeted in a resigned manner with a wry smile on her face.

"Later, Maximilian," Zack greeted, causing Max to roll her eyes laughingly as she hung up the phone.

Max shook her head once more, laughing inwardly at Zack's attempts to make her feel better. It had worked somewhat; she definitely didn't feel as depressed as she had in recent times. But once the depression had dissipated for the time-being, she was now left with an intense feeling of absence, missing Barbara so badly that it actually ached in her chest.

Max shrugged and skipped downstairs so she could let Shaq in through the dog flap on the back door. Max watched her furry black and brown bundle of joy bound up the stairs and flop lazily onto her bed, his tongue and tail wagging exuberantly. She idly wondered to herself how dogs were able to be so happy all the time.

Instead of dwelling on morbid thoughts, Max decided to distract herself by kicking back with a bowl of her favourite ice-cream and snuggling with Shaq on her bed while watching a DVD box set of "Vampire Diaries". She would never admit to any of her guy friends (least of all Zack) that she watched a show on the CW, but Barbara had put her onto it. And as it turned out, it wasn't as lame as what she had initially thought.

Max got comfortable on her bed and was about to watch yet another verbal fracas between Stefan and Damon when she heard a loud rapping on her bedroom window. Her heart in her stomach, Max grabbed hold of an ice hockey stick underneath her bed and approached the window with caution, Shaq barking loudly and obnoxiously. More rapping ensued, followed by a squeaky voice which made Max's heart literally stop.

"Max, it's me! Please let me in!"

"Barbara?" Max questioned in bewilderment.

She hastened to drop the ice hockey stick on the floor before running to the window and yanking the curtains open. A few seconds later, she had unfastened the bolts on the French windows and opened up the glass planes with a sweeping noise. Barbara stood just beyond the windows on the balcony outside Max's bedroom in a pair of pyjama pants, sneakers and a thin hoodie covering her tiny frame.

"Barbara, what are you doing here?" Max asked in amazement.

"I came to see you," Barbara answered through chattering teeth, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"How did you get up here?"

"I used your Dad's ladder and climbed up."

"You could've just used the front door," Max pointed out sardonically.

"And risk activating the alarm on the first floor? I don't think so. Besides, you always leave the alarm off when you're upstairs in your bedroom. Can I please come in? It's freezing out here," Barbara pleaded.

Try as she might, Max couldn't resist that puppy dog look of Barbara's or her pleading brown eyes. With a sigh, Max stepped back and gave Barbara enough room to climb the rest of the way in. Shaq went skipping towards Barbara, his tail wagging happily at her appearance. Barbara grinned wryly at the small dog and bent over slightly to pat him on the head and scratch him behind the ears. Then Shaq howled once and darted out of the room, leaving Barbara standing in the same spot for close to a minute, rubbing her arms quickly to chase away some of the cold in her bones.

"You changed your wallpaper," she noted quietly with a gesture of her hand towards the wall.

"What are you doing here, Barbara?" Max demanded seriously.

"I wanted to see you, Max. So we can talk," Barbara replied earnestly.

"What's there to talk about? You hate me and our friendship's over," Max spat scornfully.

"Max, how can you possibly think that?" Barbara asked woefully, her eyes crinkled in sadness.

"Oh, let's see. I've been avoiding you because I kissed you at Amber's party a month ago. Why don't you hate me for that, Barbara?" Max demanded pathetically.

"Because you're my best friend and I miss you. And…I need to know what that was all about," Barbara persisted tentatively.

When Max didn't answer immediately, Barbara moved closer to her till they were standing next to each other in the dimly lit room.

"You like me, don't you?" Barbara pressed softly, her hand going towards Max's arm to rub it gently.

When that didn't seem to work, Barbara moved well into Max's personal space and lifted her best friend's face upwards with both hands to look at her while she spoke. When faced with Barbara's persistent eyes, Max caved and sighed in resignation.

"Ok, yes. I like you, Barbara. I like you the way a guy likes a girl, not the way a best friend's supposed to." Max relented shame-facedly.

"Max, it's ok…" Barbara trailed off slowly while caressing Max's cheek gently.

"No, it's not ok, Barbara. This is so unbelievably fucked up. It's bad enough that I like you as more than a friend, but I kissed you when you already have a boyfriend. Bob's my friend too," Max interjected painstakingly.

Max wasn't even aware that she had started crying until Barbara leant in and embraced her tightly, her hands weaving their way around her neck and back. Max was too surprised by Barbara's actions to reciprocate; so she just stood limply in Barbara's arms with her hands at her sides while the latter hugged her. When Barbara eventually pulled away, Max was surprised to see that her eyes were shining with brimming tears.

"Barbara…" Max whispered soberly, her heart breaking at the sight.

Barbara got a hold of her emotions quickly and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand before speaking again.

"Max, I'm not mad at you, I never was. When you…kissed me, it caught me off guard. But that's not necessarily a bad thing." Barbara admitted in a small voice.

Now it was Max's turn to be surprised. For the first time since the start of the conversation, it was Barbara's turn to not maintain eye contact.

"It's not?" Max asked weakly.

"No. It sucks that you've felt this way for a while and I didn't know. But honestly, it got me thinking about me and Bob and where we're heading in our relationship. I like Bob a lot, really I do. But when you kissed me in Amber's bedroom, something happened that I can't quite explain, even to myself. I guess that's why I came here tonight: to clear the air. I just needed to see if I was right," Barbara explained haphazardly.

"Right about what?" Max questioned cautiously.

"This," Barbara murmured heatedly before leaning in again and crashing her lips against Max's.

At first, Max tried with all her might to try and push Barbara away from her, fear and panic nearly paralysing her with shock at her best friend's actions. But then Barbara's hands cupped Max's cheeks with such tenderness while she kissed her that Max finally succumbed to everything she had been feeling for the past few months. It was as if Max had been caught in a net like a fish this entire time and someone had deliberately cut the cords, which had wrapped themselves around her. And now she was falling, knowing nothing and feeling everything around her as Barbara deepened the kiss.

Max moaned against Barbara's lips, her hands encircling Barbara's shapely hips and holding tightly onto her as she poured every ounce of her feelings into each kiss. Emboldened by this sudden turn of events, Max's tongue darted out of her mouth and began exploring Barbara's mouth, causing her to gasp and moan in what sounded like intense pleasure. Max could feel Barbara's body humming and vibrating to her touch as she nipped sensually on her bottom lip with her teeth, getting lost in the sensation of their lips fused together.

Their mouths ebbed and flowed together like autumn leaves swirling in the wind, rising and falling as they parted and joined in harmony. It was everything that Max could've ever wanted and hoped for, being here with Barbara in this particular moment. Both of them were breathless and gasping for air when their lips finally parted with a soft popping noise.

"Wow," Barbara marvelled in awe, staring deep into Max's eyes.

"Yeah," Max replied dumbly, not knowing what to say to express herself better.

"I can't believe you just kissed me," she added a few seconds later when it finally began to sink in.

"Me neither. But I don't regret it, not for a second." Barbara stated emphatically.

"But what about Bob?" Max questioned anxiously, refusing to believe that this was really happening.

"I don't know, Max. I don't wanna hurt Bob, but no one's ever kissed me like this before," Barbara confessed slowly.

"Really?" Max asked in amazement.

"Is that a bad thing?" she asked hesitantly.

"Not at all. It's a very good thing," Barbara answered with a small smile on her face.

Barbara's fingers were tracing a thin line across Max's bottom lip while she spoke, making it impossible for her to think straight. This whole situation was wrong on so many levels. But now Barbara was in her bedroom, admitting that she liked kissing her, Max didn't want to think about stopping. Before the moral and rational side of her brain could kick in, Max swooped down on Barbara's luscious lips once more, gripping her face tightly in her hands like she didn't want to ever let go of her.

Barbara's body responded automatically to Max's kisses and touches as she mashed their bodies together till their chests were touching. Then Barbara tilted her head to meet every single one of Max's kisses, a low and sweet moan escaping her mouth as their lips parted each time. Max groaned in response, her entire body sizzling with pent-up desire aching to erupt and be released. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt movement on the buttons of her flannel pyjama top. Her lips parted abruptly from Barbara's when she realised that the latter was trying to unbutton her shirt.

"Barbara, what are you doing?" Max asked hoarsely.

"It's ok, Max. I want to," Barbara chided reassuringly while tenderly caressing Max's cheek.

"Are you sure?" Max questioned uncertainly.

"Of course. Don't you want me?" Barbara queried softly.

It was impossible for Max to ignore the breathy way in which Barbara had phrased her question. If Zack were here now, she imagined that he'd have a whole lot to say about what was about to happen. But for the moment, Max wasn't thinking about anyone else right now except for Barbara and the fact that she wanted her so badly that it physically hurt.

"I do, so much…" Max trailed off painstakingly, her breath fanning Barbara's face while she spoke.

"I'm yours," Barbara replied without hesitation.

That was all the incentive Max needed to plant a searing kiss on Barbara's lips. Barbara responded in kind, her fingers moving to Max's shirt once again, opening each button from top to bottom with a loud pop. Max's hands hastily moved to the zipper on Barbara's hoodie, peeling the soft material away from her friend's body. And then Barbara's soft skin came into view, a tank top covering her upper torso, her petite breasts straining against its cotton confine. Max shrugged out of her pyjama shirt, tossing it onto the floor next to Barbara's hoodie.

Barbara pulled her tank top over her head and tossed it behind her before helping Max shimmy out of her pyjama pants. Max yanked at Barbara's pyjama pants till they pooled at her ankles. The sprightly Asian girl haphazardly kicked her sneakers off her feet and they skidded across the floor while she pulled her pants all the way off. Barbara managed to take off her spectacles with shaky hands and place them on the pedestal next to Max's bed.

That left both her and Max in just their panties as the two teenage girls collapsed onto the bed and began kissing and touching each other. Barbara was on top of Max, peppering her with sweet kisses all over her mouth, her hands wandering all over the brunette's chest, tweaking deftly at her nipples and her luscious mounds. Max hissed in ecstasy, needing more friction from Barbara. In one swift manoeuvre, Max flipped Barbara over so that she was straddling her supple waist. Barbara's brown eyes darkened over in lustful anticipation and Max smiled down at her before claiming her lips once more.

Barbara gyrated beneath Max as the brunette kissed her lips before planting small kisses along her chin and her neck. She took a moment to suck on each of Barbara's pulse points, causing the Asian girl to whimper with sodden pleasure. And while she was doing this, Max used her hands to fondle Barbara's breasts, massaging the mounds in her palms. Then she planted kisses all over the supple mounds, the sounds of Barbara's moans like music to her ears.

"Max, please…" Barbara begged hoarsely, her eyes shut tightly.

"Relax, Barbara. I'm gonna make you feel so good in the next few minutes," Max promised sincerely.

Barbara's entire back arched backwards in ecstasy, her neck jutting out at an impossible angle as Max began kissing a trail down her smooth and clammy stomach, her tongue lingering momentarily in her bellybutton. Max hooked her thumbs around the waistband of Barbara's white cotton panties and began pulling the thin fabric down her friend's tanned legs. Barbara shuddered beneath Max, the tickling sensation of her panties leaving her body driving her insane with lust. When her panties finally came away from her ankles, Max took a moment to lift her body upwards and pull her own panties down and off of her ankles.

Now she had a clear view of Barbara's centre, which was soaking wet. Max planted several kisses all along Barbara's inner thighs, making the latter moan and groan loudly. When she was finally done teasing, Max took her thumb and starting stroking Barbara's hard clit, which pulsed with every movement of her finger. Max began creating a slow and delicate rhythm, her finger stroking Barbara up and down, creating a delicious friction which set the Asian girl's senses alight with desire.

"Fuck, Max…" Barbara panted loudly.

"Please give it to me," she pleaded painstakingly.

"You got it, baby." Max replied earnestly.

While she continued stroking Barbara's bundle of nerves with her index finger and her thumb, Max's mouth clamped down around her dripping core and began sucking on her wet folds. Barbara went cross-eyed at the sensation of being pleasured in this manner, her hips bucking forward with each thrust of Max's tongue. Max tasted Barbara's exquisite juices, her chest exploding with happiness at this intimate moment they were sharing together. It made her all the more eager to touch Barbara everywhere and make her feel every ounce of her deep passion.

She continued stroking and sucking Barbara until she felt the Asian girl below her stiffen up till her toes curled of their own accord. And then Barbara cried out in ecstasy as her entire body sang with the force of her very first orgasm. Max kept in sync with her all the while, her head bobbing back and forth as she carried Barbara to her peak and brought her tumbling down with a stroke of her digits and a flick of her tongue.

The force of Barbara's orgasm caused her knees to rise upwards off the bed. And they brushed accidentally against Max's inner thigh, causing her aching centre to pool with desire. Max began grinding slowly against Barbara's knee, the delicious friction making her desire for her friend all the more great.

When Barbara finally came down from her high, she saw Max moving above her, grinding against her leg with heady thrusts. Seeing her best friend above her in the throngs of ecstasy made Barbara's pulse quicken all the more at the erotic sight. Her hands moved upwards and began caressing Max's breasts, tweaking the nipples till Max began mewling with satisfaction. This spurred Barbara on further as her other hand moved between Max's legs, stroking rapidly at her throbbing clit, which sent Max over the edge in a matter of minutes.

Max's heart pounded in her chest as she felt her belly tighten with an exquisite knot, which twisted and uncoiled with springs of intense pleasure. And it made her rock her hips rapidly against Barbara's, rubbing against her until the force of her orgasm made her dizzy. When it was finally over, she leant down and captured Barbara's lips in a passionate kiss. And then they lay together side by side, eventually falling asleep in each other's arms.

****'****

"I can't believe it…" Zack muttered under his breath.

"You and Barbara!" he hissed.

"Zack, would you lower your voice? I don't want the whole school to know what we're talking about!" Max hissed back in a reproachful tone.

She and Zack were sitting at a table in the corner of the cafeteria at Cheevers a few days after her encounter with Barbara. Ever since Barbara left her bedroom in the early hours of the morning, Max had only seen her in passing around school. Max was wondering if her best friend was having second thoughts about what had happened.

"Ok, no need to get your panties in a twist. I'm just a little jealous," Zack whispered back nonchalantly.

"What do you have to be jealous about, Zack?" Max queried in confusion.

"Girl-on-girl action happens within a mile-radius of where I live and I don't even get to watch." Zack explained teasingly.

"Zack," Max scolded, a ghost of a smile appearing on her face while she smacked his arm.

"Ow, not the face. Ooh, here comes your girlfriend," Zack quipped conspiratorially under his breath with a jerk of his head.

Max followed his gaze and saw Barbara enter the cafeteria with Bob in tow. She was surprised that they weren't holding hands for a change; she took this as a good sign.

"This might be your one and only chance to talk to her," Zack advised more seriously in an aside to Max.

"You're right, Zack." Max agreed readily, not taking her eyes off of Barbara once.

"Go get 'em, Tiger," Zack whispered encouragingly while giving Max a playful shove forward.

Max took the hint and began walking steadily towards the table where Barbara and Bob sat together. Barbara looked up at her, her brown eyes clouding over with sudden intensity.

"Hey, Bob." Max greeted as brightly as possible.

"Hey, Max." Bob greeted jovially, unaware of the sudden tension between his girlfriend and her best friend.

"Do you mind if I borrow Barbara for a couple of minutes? I need to talk to her about a basketball insert for the paper." Max asked smoothly, lying on the spot.

"Sure, go ahead. I'll keep an eye on your tray for you, Sugar Lump." Bob replied sweetly while flashing Barbara a brilliant smile.

"Thanks, Sweetie. Be back in a few," Barbara replied, matching his tone before following Max out of the cafeteria.

They walked quickly out of the school towards the bleachers outside. They took a seat along the wooden pews and stared out at the football field a few meters away.

"You're avoiding me, aren't you?" Max asked seriously.

"No, I'm not. I just…I needed some time to think." Barbara admitted carefully, still not looking at Max.

"What's there to think about, Barbara? I told you that I have feelings for you and we…spent the night together." Max pointed out in a low voice.

"Do you regret what happened between us?" she asked in a hurt tone.

"No! Of course not! This is just really complicated," Barbara confessed morosely.

"Because of Bob?" Max pressed shrewdly.

"That's part of it. I do care about him – I don't wanna hurt him, Max." Barbara replied painstakingly, chancing a look at her best friend since the start of the conversation.

"Barbara, Bob's one of my oldest friends – I don't wanna hurt him any more than you do. But you can't pretend that nothing's changed between you and me." Max responded reasonably.

"I know, and I don't want to do that. I've just never been in a situation like this before. I don't know what to do." Barbara admitted sincerely.

"Come to Prom with me," Max declared unexpectedly.

"What?" Barbara asked in confusion.

"You're having trouble deciding on what you want. So why don't we meet there this weekend and talk things out?" Max asked seriously.

"You're asking me to meet you at Prom this weekend so that we can figure out our ambiguous relationship?" Barbara asked laughingly.

"Basically, yeah." Max responded unflinchingly.

"But we're both juniors, Max. How are we gonna get into Prom?" Barbara asked curiously.

"Think about it. You're on the school paper, so you can easily get an invite. Amber asked me to help out with the decorations a few hours beforehand, so that practically makes me part of the Prom Committee." Max responded cleverly.

"But you hate Prom, Max." Barbara pointed out dryly.

A serious expression crossed Max's face when Barbara said this. She leant forward and engulfed her best friend in a chaste kiss. Barbara closed her eyes and reciprocated the kiss, getting lost in the sensation for the moment. When they broke apart, Max caressed Barbara's cheek tenderly, causing the latter to blush under her touch.

"Yeah, I do. But I'm willing to brave it for you. Will you come?" Max asked sweetly of Barbara.

Barbara only hesitated for a few seconds before responding.

"Ok, I'll come." She relented seriously, locking eyes with Max.

"Good. See you then." Max replied briskly.

Then the two of them got to their feet and hopped off the bleachers, heading back towards the main entrance of the school.

****'****

While looking for the perfect dress to wear, Max didn't see a whole lot of Barbara. But she reassured herself with the thought that she was going to make herself look as beautiful for Barbara as possible on Prom Night. She had no idea what would happen once she got to Prom, but the thought of seeing Barbara there was enough to keep her spirits up throughout her mom's nauseating excitement at her wearing something girly for a change.

Max went to Cheevers on Saturday and spent most of the morning and afternoon helping Amber and some of the other seniors on the Prom Committee decorate the gym with streamers and such. Then she left school around 4pm to head back home to shower and change into her dress.

It had taken some doing, but Max and her Mom had found a cute little boutique in downtown Boston and the perfect dress for Max to wear. It was a knee-length royal blue dress with a halter-neck, which showed off a lot of Max's tanned skin, her shapely legs and her supple neckline. She wore simple black stilettos and wore her honey-brown hair down over her shoulders in wavy ringlets. Her Mom had done her make-up with a subtle gold eye-shadow, mascara, eyeliner and light blush which made her arched cheeks all the more pronounced and her smile breathtaking. Max hated to admit it, but for the first time in her life, she felt genuinely beautiful. It wasn't just the way she looked on the outside, but also from the way that Barbara made her feel. And tonight felt like the beginning of something more between them.

Max's Dad gave her the keys to his car and she drove with haste to get to Prom. She cursed all the while as she drove, wishing she hadn't spent so much time taking pictures with her parents at their home. Prom had already started 30 minutes prior and she was sure that the dancing had already begun. The light music filtering in from the parking lot confirmed this when Max finally arrived at school. She parked her Dad's car haphazardly close to the entrance and skipped up the stairs to the main entrance, her heels clinking against the floor in the hallway leading to the gym.

Taking a deep breath, Max squared her shoulders and opened the heavy doors of the gym. The disco lights swinging overhead hit her first, illuminating her body with pink and blue circles which made her positively fluorescent. Just as she predicted, there were a horde of Cheevers students already on the dance floor, the serious couples swaying slowly in sync with the romantic ballad playing through the speakers.

There was one couple in particular moving languidly in the centre of the gym floor, their hands wound tightly around each other. The girl wore a beautiful white silken dress with spaghetti straps that went beyond her knees, decorated with black flowers all along the chest and stomach, white stilettos, her usually straight raven black hair tied into a chique French bun. Her partner wore a simple black tuxedo with a white dress shirt and a black artificial flower attached to the collar. Max noticed his shock of red hair long before she saw the goofy grin on his face reminiscent of a lovestruck teenager.

Max's heart was in her throat and she wanted so badly to run, but she couldn't move a muscle. Then Barbara turned on the spot and finally locked eyes with her. Max expected there to at least be recognition and then shock from Barbara when she finally realized that she had arrived.

But there was nothing. What Barbara did next was worse than outright denial. All Max received was cold detachment as Barbara turned away again and steered Bob off to the left, wrapping her arms more tightly around his torso as they continued dancing together. Max's entire face was hot like fire and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Before anyone at school could see the tears that she knew were coming Max turned away and fled the gym, the heavy doors swinging violently behind her as she sprinted towards her Dad's car, not caring whether she tripped over her own feet.

She kept it together till she got home, ignoring every single Boston traffic rule as she sped throughout the entire journey. Her parents asked her why she was home already, but Max brushed them off as she climbed the stairs and escaped to her bedroom. Once the door was shut, she collapsed onto her bed in a heap and began crying violently, her entire body convulsing.

She didn't even hear him come in, but she assumed that her parents must've told him just to come straight up. Zack looked especially dashing in his black tuxedo with maroon dress shirt and matching artificial flower on the collar which matched his date's dress and corsage. He had been invited to the Prom by an attractive senior named Heather McKenzie, who happened to be the head cheerleader too. He had been looking forward to going to Prom for weeks simply because of who he was going with. And he had left her at Prom to follow Max home when she had seen Barbara and Bob dancing together.

Zack didn't say anything as he sat down on Max's bed next to her. But he didn't need to a moment later when Max's head dropped into his lap and she began crying harder than ever. All he could do for now was push the wet strands of her brown hair off of her cheeks, rub her arms soothingly and comfort her as best as he could while she cried her heart out for her lost love.

****'****

Two weeks had passed since Prom and neither Max nor Barbara had spoken to each other about what had transpired on the night in question. Zack and Max were once again sitting at the corner table in the cafeteria at school. Just like every other day, Zack was eating Max's fries while Max stared unabashedly at the table where Bob and Barbara sat together, drumming her fingers absentmindedly on the table top. She watched them every single day, never quite making up her mind to finally confront Barbara about everything. But things were about to change.

"What's it gonna be, Champ? Are you gonna get back in the ring or stay down for the count?" Zack asked seriously, breaking into her thoughts.

Max glanced back at Zack, who was watching her with a steady eye.

"I may be down, but I'm not going out this way," she answered without blinking.

"That's my girl. You know what you have to do," Zack responded with an encouraging smile on his face.

Max nodded one last time at Zack and got up from the table. And before she could chicken out, she began walking purposefully towards Bob and Barbara's table. Barbara looked up from her macaroni & cheese with a startled expression on her face at Max's unexpected appearance.

"Hey, Bob."

"Hey, Max. You've been kinda MIA lately – where you been hiding?" Bob asked half in amusement, half in concern.

"I've been around, just busy with school work. Do you mind if I borrow Barbara for a few minutes?" Max asked quietly and with determination.

"Sure, go ahead." Bob replied graciously, as trusting as ever.

Barbara followed behind Max with her head slightly bowed until they reached the parking lot, which was well out of eyesight and earshot.

"Max, I really don't think we should do this here," Barbara began awkwardly, not quite meeting Max's eyes.

"Well tough, because I deserve an answer from you about everything." Max spat in a no-nonsense tone.

"Just answer one question for me," she implored in a biting tone when Barbara remained silent.

"Were you ever gonna tell Bob the truth?" she questioned painstakingly.

"I wanted to tell him everything, you have no idea just how much, Max. But when it came down to the moment, I chickened out. Bob doesn't deserve to be betrayed like this. I was scared of my life changing so drastically. And then there's my family too – they would've never understood." Barbara answered pleading, tears escaping her eyes.

"So now you're hiding behind your family? First it was Bob, who's it gonna be tomorrow, Barbara?" Max demanded with a slight sneer to her tone.

"Max, you don't understand…"

"I don't understand? Fuck you, Barbara. You're the one who's completely clueless here, not me. I know exactly what it's like not to fit into your own world and to have everybody around you judge you without really knowing shit about you." Max interjected heatedly.

The first of her tears finally began flowing out of her; first in angry spurts, then diverging into streams of sadness which spread across her cheeks.

"But you know what? I didn't care about any of that because you were my friend and you always had my back no matter what. I'm freakin' in love with you and you broke my heart, Barbara. There's nothing I wouldn't have done for you, no one I would've chosen above you. I would've gladly taken the blows and the snide comments and done it all happily for you. And do you wanna know what the sad part is? I now know that you wouldn't have done the same for me." Max replied morosely, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand.

"You have no idea how sorry I am that I couldn't be stronger and better for you, Max. You're the last person I ever wanted to hurt, you have to believe me. I know you must hate me a lot right now and you have every right to. But isn't there any chance that things can go back to how they used to be between us. Can't we still be friends?" Barbara questioned miserably, the tears flowing more steadily down her cheeks.

"No, Barbara. Things can't go back to how they used to be. That's not enough for me anymore. As for being friends again, I just don't know about that either," Max replied frankly.

"I don't hate you, Barbara. You have no idea how much I want to hate you, but I can't bring myself to do it because it just hurts way too much right now. I'll always love you in spite of everything. But I'm not the one who has to prove anything anymore. I wish you and Bob all the best."

And with that, Max left Barbara standing alone in the parking lot, digging her hands deep into the pockets on her hoodie as she trudged back into school. It was going to be hell walking back into the cafeteria, her tear-stained face on display for everyone to see. But she was spared the humiliation when she found Zack waiting for her in the hallway, his backpack on his shoulders and holding her backpack in his hand.

"Thought you might be needing this," he offered with a small smile with a head jerk towards the backpack in his hand.

"Thanks," Max replied meekly, taking her backpack from Zack's outstretched hand and pulling the straps over her shoulders.

"How did it go?" Zack asked softly with a head jerk in the direction of the parking lot.

"Awful. I hate myself a little more." Max confessed sadly.

"Yeah, I figured. But you'll stop hating yourself a little less every day from here on out. Give or take 50 years, you'll be completely over this," Zack teased, causing Max to roll her eyes at him.

"Very poetic, Zachary." She remarked sardonically.

"Thank you very much. You wanna get out of here?" Zack asked whimsically.

"Please," Max replied readily.

"Where we headin' to?" she inquired conversationally as she and Zack strolled through the gym with a plan to skip through the boys' locker room and head out the back exit of the school.

"Well, since we're cutting class, I figured a two-for-one chicken nugget special from 'The Cluck Bucket' is just what we need." Zack answered cleverly with a smirk in Max's direction.

"Sounds awesome to me," Max replied evenly.

Zack offered Max one last smile before placing his arm around her shoulder and drawing her closer to him as they walked. Max placed an arm around Zack's waist and rested her head on his shoulder as they exited the boys' locker room and stepped out into the welcoming sunlight.

****'****

_**A/N:** Thanks for sticking with me through this very long oneshot ;)_

_Max is played by the beautiful and talented Alyson Stoner, a veteran on the Disney Channel. She is a recurring character who has appeared in several episodes of "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" as a close friend of the Martin twins. _

_Barbara Brownstein is played by the beautiful and talented Sophie Oda. She too is a recurring character who first appeared in "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody", first as a classmate of the Martin twins before later becoming Cody's steady girlfriend. To date, she has made one appearance in "The Suite Life on Deck" series in one of my favourite episodes, "Flowers and Chocolates". _


	4. SilverTurtle II

**WHEN IN ROME**

**By SilverTurtle**

Ex-Brother Theodore sighed into his fourth Shirley Temple and swizzled the decorative straw through the liquid while using his free hand to scoop up another forkful of truly excellent pasta. He'd been in Rome for three weeks now, taken in all the popular tourist sites, and even managed to wrangle a seat in the most prestigious restaurant in the city and he was still dissatisfied. He didn't know exactly what was missing from his experience. After leaving the monastery to pursue the life he'd always wanted he thought he'd be happier, he'd thought just getting away from the dank stone walls and dispirited brothers would show him the path he was meant to be on but he was as lost as ever.

More lost than ever, actually, as he'd been traveling aimlessly across the European continent with no purpose for months and only ended up in Rome accidentally when he'd missed his stop in Venice by falling asleep and been informed that a bus back with the same company (one giving him a discount he couldn't refuse) wouldn't be departing for several weeks. He'd always wanted to see Rome, of course, it was once the hub of Western civilization and a fascinating city for its history and for the development of its culture so he didn't mind staying for a while. But there was only so much of one place a man could stand when he was looking for his purpose in life and he was ready to board that bus tomorrow and get on with his search.

He was dabbing a bit of stray sauce from his lips with a linen napkin when a petite brunette woman dressed as a chef stepped up to his table and offered him a friendly smile. She might have been the most beautiful woman he'd seen in his life, including his life before he was a monk and those he'd seen in his recent travels.

"Hello, sir," the beautiful woman said in warm tones, "I am Chef Gigi. How are you finding your meal today?"

"I'm Theodore. And the meal has been outstanding," Theodore enthused, "I've never enjoyed pasta so much in my life!"

Gigi chuckled, "I am pleased to hear it, sir. You aren't from around here, are you?" At Theodore's shaking head the chef smiled, "Your accent gave you away. I hope you've enjoyed our beautiful city."

"Very much so," Theodore smiled back. "There's been so much to see and do here. Your city is so rich with history."

"It is that," Gigi nodded. "I hope you enjoy the rest of your time here," she made a polite nod of farewell but stalled actually leaving when she saw the posture of the man suddenly slump and decided since they were so near closing time she could take a few more minutes to keep the man company. "May I ask," she began, gaining his instant attention, "what brings you here? To Rome?"

"Oh," Theodore furrowed his brow, "Finding myself, really. I recently left a monastery I'd lived in for most of my adult life, you see. I'm hoping to find a better purpose than languishing behind stone walls closed off from the rest of the world. I've been traveling Europe looking for something, but I don't know what. I leave Rome tomorrow afternoon for Venice, from there to Vienna, then Budapest and Athens, then on into Asia." Theodore shrugged, "Until I find what I'm looking for I figured I should see as much of the world as I can. Besides, the more places I look the more likely I am to actually find something worthwhile."

Gigi felt her eyebrow lift in surprise and she took a seat across from this odd man. He was a bit awkward. Shy she supposed, but eager for company which made sense given his past as a monk. She thought it odd given his slightly intimidating size that he would be so hesitant to speak with her. In her experience men like him tended to expect fawning attention, even those associated with churches she knew of. But this man told of his plans not to impress her, he was merely stating fact and doing so in a manner that she found quite appealing. He might be exactly what she needed. Gigi put on her best charming smile as Theodore took a sip from his drink. "Tell me, Theodore," Gigi's sultry tone of voice caught his immediate attention, "You've been in a monastery most of your adult life, you said. Have you ever made love to a woman?"

Theodore turned bright scarlet and nearly spat out his drink. He swallowed with difficulty and shook his head, eyes wide from shock.

Gigi smiled seductively, "Would you like to?" She saw from the way he hurriedly spread his napkin across his lap to disguise the sudden tenting of his pants that he certainly _would_ like to and smiled wider. She rose from her seat and offered him her hand, "Come with me."

Theodore, not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, accepted her hand and allowed himself to be pulled along to the back of the restaurant.

***'***

Gigi led him to a locked door, removing a key from her pocket and quickly getting it open to reveal a set of stairs leading to her apartment above the restaurant. "Here," she guided him through the door and locked it again behind them then swiftly ascended the steps dragging him behind her.

Theodore didn't get much of a chance to look around as Gigi didn't turn on any lights, just ushered him along until she could push him down on her bed behind another closed door. He sat at the edge of the bed nervous beyond all measure, but his nerves were quickly forgotten as Gigi straddled his lap and claimed his mouth in a searing kiss.

Her hands cupped his jaw as she methodically plundered his mouth with her tongue, guiding his own into tangling with hers until he was kissing back with more enthusiasm than skill. Wholly focused on the sensation of her mouth on his he barely noticed when her hands caressed down his neck and into the collar of his shirt, rubbing his collar bones and shoulders and tugging at the fabric drawing it taut across his chest. When he had to break away for air she moved her attention to his neck, her mouth hot and damp as it tasted the skin just above his pounding pulse, and smoothly undid the buttons of his shirt until she slipped it down his arms and dumped it on the floor. She gently raked her nails down his chest and made a pleased sound at his twitching muscles.

His hands, to his surprise, hadn't been idle through this. One was kneading her buttock insistently, keeping up with the shallow rhythmic motions of her hips, while the other scrabbled to find a way into her chef coat with little success. She must have gotten annoyed with his fumbling because she ripped herself from his jaw with a frustrated noise and yanked the offending garment over her head, taking a t-shirt and bra along with it, and sending the whole bundle sailing across the room to land in a heap in the corner. Theodore grinned and let his hands joyfully explore her expanses of heated skin running up and down her back, fingers edging along her spine making her arch into him he noted with interest, and pulling around to her front to take a breast in each hand and squeeze gently.

She groaned at the feeling of his hands on her breasts. As heated as her skin was, because she was beyond ready to be touched, his hands were still like fire on her skin and inflaming her own passion to even greater heights. She felt her nipples pebble against his palms as he carefully dragged them across her peaks. When they stood to prominence he rolled one between thumb and forefinger while claiming the other with a hot wet mouth. She held back a moan, appreciating this attention and allowing one hand to curl at the back of his neck to hold him exactly where he was. Not to be outdone, though, she ground her hips down and brushed against his hardened member through their pants and delighted in his startled grunt. She pressed her free hand to his shoulder and dragged it firmly down his chest, over his stomach, and cupped the bulge through the fabric and stroked just once.

He shuddered and bucked up into her hand, barely managing to wrap an arm around her waist so he didn't knock her off. He removed his lips from her breast and kissed up along the column of her throat enjoying the taste of her skin and the gasp she made when his hand spread flat along the small of her back and pulled her closer to him. He moved his mouth up and up until he could kiss her again immediately twining their tongues like it was a familiar and practiced move.

She swayed into him, their bare torsos coming into full contact and sparking a shiver to run down her spine. Swiftly she climbed off of him and rid herself of her pants and soaked panties before growling and divesting him of his shorts and boxers which sent him reeling onto his back propped up on his elbows. She crawled back over him, his erect manhood between them brushing against her sex and taking on a coating of her arousal, and she swallowed his moan in another devouring kiss. She rocked her hips in tiny motions, just sliding herself along the underside of his cock and enjoying the feel of the effect she had on him as he breathed heavily and thrust lightly against her.

Theodore threw himself into their kiss and barely managed to keep from impaling himself within her, wanting Gigi to decide when she was ready for that. But much more of this gentle teasing, her slick heat gliding easily over him, and he wouldn't last another moment.

It was a great relief to both of them when Gigi rose up far enough to position the head of his cock at her entrance and slowly sink onto it. He tipped his head back with a groan while she enjoyed the sweet stretching of her inner walls. She sat up and pressed her hands down on his hips to keep him from moving while she adjusted to his girth filling her, a little larger than she'd expected but pleasantly so. When she was ready she rolled her hips and they both moaned loudly in pleasure.

She rocked her hips in a steady rhythm feeling inches of him slide in and out of her, pressing along the length of her inner walls in a way that made her body tighten around him to try and draw him even deeper. The pleasure built steadily but she wasn't nearly there and she was about to increase the pace when Theodore's hips bucked wildly once, twice, three times and she felt him release hotly inside of her and start to go limp.

Theodore dropped his head to the bed as his orgasm subsided. He panted trying to catch his breath after experiencing perhaps the most amazing thing to ever happen to him. His eyes closed and he felt his sweat cooling on his chest and brow. He felt Gigi wriggle her hips, his flaccid organ slipping a bit out of her, and suddenly felt a bit sheepish when he realized she hadn't come.

"In my defense," he panted, "that was my first time."

Gigi chuckled, "And it will not be your last. I'm not done with you yet, Theodore."

The tone of her voice made him open his eyes and look at her. A sly smirk graced her lips as she leaned forward to press her body to his, he felt her sex tighten around him and groaned at the feel as he began to harden again within her, rubbing against him. He felt his cock twitch as anticipation filled him. She rolled her body back up dragging her hands down his torso. Her nails scratched firmly enough to be felt but leave no marks from his shoulders, over his pectoral muscles, down his abdomen to his hips. She once more sat astride him with her back straight and chest thrust forward to gain his full attention. His semi-hard member was firm enough now that she could lift and drop herself on it and coax it into full hardness.

She tipped her head towards him and moaned at the feel of him hardening within her, pushing firmly against her tight inner walls. When he was fully erect she picked up the rhythm she'd lost when he'd come, her hips easily finding the pace that would drive her to the height of her pleasure. Her hands left his hips to fumble for his, which she yanked up and planted on her breasts giving him the breathless command "touch me, Teddy," and he was happy to obey.

His hands kneaded her breasts and worked her nipples while he thrust his hips up into her hoping the extra force would help her achieve orgasm. She continued to rock above him, leaning back to dig her hands into the flesh of his thighs for balance. But it wasn't enough for Theodore this time. As much as he enjoyed the sight of the beautiful Gigi impaling herself over and over on him he had a sudden desire to see how beautiful she would be beneath him. He let his desire rule him and he sat up, curled his arms around her back, and rolled them over to lay her down on the mattress.

Gigi gasped in surprise at the sudden change in position, her arms and legs instinctively wrapping around Theodore's shoulders and hips respectively.

"Is this okay?" he asked, his weight settled hovering above her on his elbows on either side of her ribcage, tentative now that his burst of courage had faded and afraid that he'd upset her.

"God, yes," she groaned and canted her hips up into him, prompting him to begin thrusting.

She was so close. Gigi's body rocked and was pressed deeper into her mattress with every thrust of Theodore's hips. Her hands clutched at his back, nails digging in and leaving half moon shaped indents on his shoulders. She tightened her legs around his hips and pulled him deeper into her, getting their sweat-slicked bodies pressed even more closely together. She tilted her hips into his every thrust, encouraging him with breathless gasps and repeated vocalizations of "oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!"

Having Gigi beneath him was even more amazing than he'd thought it would be. He could feel her all around him, arms, legs, sex, she was everywhere. He breathed her in as he pounded into her. When she squeaked "harder" he dug his knees into the mattress and obeyed. When she panted "faster" he sped his thrusts to as fast as he could manage. Not content with nuzzling the skin of her neck as he brought her closer to orgasm he took a hardened nipple in his mouth and sucked. When that wasn't enough he leaned on one elbow to let his other hand slip between their bodies and finger the swollen bundle of nerves between her legs.

"Oh, Theodore!" Gigi cried out, the touch of his fingers to her clit the final push she needed. Her sex clenched around him as she came, her whole body arching into him while her limbs squeezed him tightly.

Knowing he'd made her come and feeling her body tense around him, outside and in, was enough to send him careening over the edge again and he came twitching inside her.

They continued to rock gently as they recovered from their orgasms. Theodore lifted his head and claimed a surprisingly chaste kiss as he slid himself out of her. When he pulled back Gigi smiled up at him and pulled him up the bed to throw the covers over both of them and settle down to sleep curled together.

***'***

When Gigi woke the next morning it was to Theodore's mouth on her neck and his hands on her breasts. She could feel his stiff member against her thigh and she laughed a little.

"Good morning to you, too, Theodore," she grinned.

He looked up almost sheepishly, but the twinkle in his eye gave him away while he smiled and claimed a kiss, "Good morning."

She pushed on his shoulders and made him sit up, "Would you like breakfast?"

He shook his head, "I have to get back to my hostel and pack for this afternoon."

"Ah, yes," Gigi hummed and stretched as she sat up, enjoying his hungry eyes on her nude form. "Well then," she swung her leg over both of his to straddle him and lowered herself until he slipped inside her, "one for the road."

One of his hands slid around her back to draw her closer while the other cupped her breast and he tilted his head up for a kiss.

It wasn't a rushed coupling, it was a farewell. Gigi moved her hips almost agonizingly slowly for the both of them, wanting to prolong every moment they had left together.

Their bodies moved in tandem and all too soon he shuddered and she gasped as they peaked.

Theodore dressed reluctantly and slowly trying to think of anything he could say.

Gigi eyed him as he dropped his shirt over his head and finished dressing.

"I won't forget you," Theodore said, coming to sit beside a sheet clad Gigi.

Gigi grinned fondly and kissed him gently, "I should hope not. It would be terribly bad form to forget the first woman you ever slept with."

Theodore laughed. "I'll come back here," he said as he stood and made his way to the door, "I promise."

Gigi considered him with sad eyes and a wistful smile, "I will be here."

Theodore nodded and was gone.

Gigi lay back on her bed and prayed everything would work out as it should.

***'***

Three years later a tanned, toned, and thrilled Theodore stepped through the doors of Gigi's restaurant brimming with the desire to tell Gigi all about the adventures he'd had globetrotting.

When she appeared through the kitchen doors smiling and radiant his breath caught in his throat. She was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever met.

When he noticed the small child on her hip with his eyes and her smile his breath caught again as he realized he'd just laid eyes on the most beautiful little girl he'd ever seen.

Gigi noticed him standing stunned in the doorway and peace seemed to wash over her. She smiled and he was struck again by how gorgeous she looked. She came towards him and stopped within arm's reach of him.

"Theodore," she said softly, "I'd like you to meet your daughter, Isabella."

And suddenly Theodore knew that _this_ was what he'd spent the last two years searching for and his entire life not knowing he desperately wanted. A family. A place to call home. He felt happy tears prick his eyes as he stepped forward and bent to lay a gentle kiss on Gigi's lips and an even softer one on his daughter's forehead.

"She's perfect," he whispered as he took the wondering little girl in his arms and settled her on his own hip.

"She is," Gigi agreed as she leaned against his side and smiled as he introduced himself to his child. The little girl easily accepted him after an encouraging nod from her mother and promptly demanded to be let down to wander. Gigi set her on the ground knowing the wait staff would watch out for her and let her loose. She turned back to Theodore and smiled at his shell shocked expression. She rolled her eyes a little and kissed his lips, "Welcome back."

**THE END**

*****'*****

_**Pairing:**_ _Brother Theodore/Chef Gigi. Brother Theodore was the head monk at the retreat Cody ran off too in the SLOD episode 'Silent Treatment' - played by Andy Richter. Chef Gigi was the demanding restaurant owner in Rome from SLOD episode 'When in Rome' – played by Sandra Purpuro. _


	5. Snapplelinz II

**_A/N: _**_This definitely ranks in the top 5 strangest pairings I've ever gotten for this collection. Enjoy :D_

**Once Upon A Groupie**

**by Snapplelinz**

*******'*******

Kurt Martin entered the Wal-Mart with his sunglasses still on, his shoulders hunched slightly from exhaustion. He'd just been on an 18-hour flight from a concert in South East Asia. Kurt had been on tour for so long that he'd almost forgotten what it was like to be back in Boston after such a lengthy absence.

But he had finally returned and was anxious to see his boys, now that they had finally graduated from Seven Seas Academy. Since he had clean forgotten to get them any presents while on tour or even at the airport curio store, he had ducked into Wall-Mart quickly before taking a cab to the Tipton to meet Cody, Zack and Carey for lunch.

Kurt practically power-walked down several aisles in the space of 10 minutes and picked up the first things he could find: a new set of high-tech walkie-talkies for Zack, a special edition of National Geographic with a sealed DVD of the mating rituals of the Pig-nosed Turtle for Cody and an assortment of body and skin products for Carey. He had just made it to the front of the line to pay for his things when a tall female cut in rudely in front of him.

Just as Kurt was about to tap her on the shoulder and reprimand her for cutting in a line of about five people all waiting to pay for their things, he stopped short. The woman was huge; not obese, but just hulking. Hulking with her large beefy shoulders, her broad chest and waist and long legs that made her tower over pretty much everyone in the line, himself included.

Her clothes hung tightly over her body and they were as precise as any military uniform that Kurt could conjure up in his mind. She wore a red jacket with gold buttons down the front with a matching red knee-length skirt, black stockings which showed off powerful calf muscles and plain black heels on her feet. And to complete the picture, the woman had her tied her sunflower-blonde hair into a severe bun to match her sour face and an equally unsavoury mole on the right side of her mouth.

Everything about this woman seemed to repel Kurt.

And yet, there was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind, telling him that he'd somehow met this stranger before. And that once upon a time, he might've known her.

_Known her really well. _

"I vunt to buy zis household cleaner to clean off my bowling ball. Vil it leave any permanent stains zat will affect how my ball rolls at de alley?"

"It shouldn't, Ma'am. But if you're unsure, perhaps you should also disinfect your bowling ball with alcohol after use."

That accent. It was German, wasn't it? But not a typical one that one heard in the bigger cities. Possibly a smaller town or province.

It reminded Kurt of a little town called Fürth in the province of Bavaria where he had once played an acoustic set with his band. He and Carey had had yet another lover's tiff and she had stormed off with some burly weight-lifter named Klaus, who seemed more gay than straight in Kurt's humble opinion. Point being, Carey had most likely hooked up with said Klaus while he (Kurt) had met a sweet and pretty German girl, who had approached him backstage after the concert.

She had been extremely giggly, but cute, especially with that sunflower blonde hair of hers, those blue-grey eyes and that adorably thick German accent. She was a big fan of his music, always had been since the release of the band's first album. Kurt had been flattered and intrigued by the foreign girl.

"_Vud you like to get a drink wit me?" she asked in a husky tone. _

"_Sure, I'd love to." He replied demurely, his eyes lingering a little too long on her large bosom…_

This woman's bosom really was quite impressive, especially with the way she was leaning over the counter, staring the cashier down while he rang up her various purchases, the side of her face contorted into an impatient scowl.

_Her smile was infectious while Kurt tried his best to impress her with his over-the-top American humour. He enjoyed the sound of her animated laughter, accompanied with a snort that she repressed by covering her mouth deftly with her hand. _

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. It's taking a while for your card to register on the system," the cashier apologised nervously.

"Vel, vut is taking so long? Did you press ze wrong button?"

_She had been impatient that night too when they had gone back to his hotel room, crashing through the door with her hands in his hair, his hands cupping her ass through her jeans._

"No, Ma'am. The system's just a little slow right now," the cashier responded hesitantly.

"Vel, fix it already! I hev a job to get back to!" she fumed impatiently, throwing her chest out in a threatening manner.

The male part of Kurt's brain was working on overdrive while he imagined using his hands to run them all along her chest…

_She was straddling his waist while they sat naked on top of the bed spread, his hands roaming all over her big and luscious breasts, squeezing fast and hard on her taut nipples till they hardened in his palms. _

"The system's back online, Ma'am. Won't you please key in your password on the card reader?" The cashier asked promptly, trying his best to smile.

The tall blonde-haired woman rolled her eyes pointedly and shifted her position leaning over the counter while keying in her password. Her hips were thrown out slightly while she stood, the indentations of her waistline more visible through her red skirt.

_Kurt grabbed hold of her waist forcefully in his big hands as he pushed her down ferociously onto the bed. The look in her eyes told him everything he needed to know, just how badly she wanted this. _

A cramp began forming in Kurt's leg while he waited just as impatiently for the woman ahead of him to finish paying for her purchase. And mostly, he was morbidly curious to see more of the front of her…

_The front of her was already bathed in a thin layer of sheen moisture when he finally laced their hands together on both sides of her head and entered her with one almighty thrust that made her hips rock madly against his pelvic bones. His leg began cramping up from the effort of balancing himself while ploughing her core over and over again. But Kurt couldn't stop, didn't want to stop before he had claimed the young woman thrashing wildly underneath him, her moans of pleasure like music to his ears as she tightened all around him, pulling him in deeper than ever before. _

"Vut are you staring at?"

Kurt snapped out of his reverie and regarded the severe-looking woman standing in front of him with a wary countenance. Her blue eyes were beady as they surveyed him, making him feel like he was being X-rayed, but not in a good way.

"Huh?" he asked blankly, blinking dark spots out of his eyes from where the fluorescent lighting overhead glared down on him.

"You fur staring at me. Why is zis?"

"I was just uh…" Kurt stammered hopelessly.

"I'm sorry. It's just that you…reminded me of someone." He offered weakly.

"Oh really? And just who might zat person be?"

"A young woman I met a long time ago in a little German town called Fürth, in Bavaria. She was a groupie at one of my concerts-"

"_Are you supposed to be somevun famous?" _

Kurt definitely didn't miss the unmistakable tone of mirth evident in the woman's tone. And then she began laughing hysterically a second later, which made him all the more annoyed.

"I'm Kurt Martin. I'm in a band called 'The Jailbirds'. We had a couple of rock hits during the 80's." he pointed out defensively.

"Never heard of you, so your music must not be all zat good…" the blonde-haired trailed off in a nonchalantly dismissive tone.

"I'll have you know-"

"And another thing. My name is Ilsa Shickelgrubermeiger-Von Helsing der Keppelugerhofer. I am ze manager at ze St. Marks Hotel, not some lame groupie from de times of Yester-Year!" Ilsa fumed indignantly, her entire turning red.

Now Kurt knew who she was. This was Moseby's rival from the hotel across from the Tipton. He remembered Carey mentioning her once to him during a tirade on some competitive tournament between the two hotels. That would explain the maintenance for a bowling ball.

She couldn't possibly be the same girl he'd met a lifetime ago in a sleepy little German town. The women were as different as glitter and an industrial solvent. He wasn't even sure that her name had been 'Ilsa' – it had to have been a different name.

"Ok, I get it! My mistake," Kurt replied gruffly, wanting more than ever to escape the freezing atmosphere of the Wal-Mart.

"Ja," Ilsa confirmed with a ringing drawl.

Then she swung her vast hips as she stalked past him towards the exit, her nose held high in the air. Kurt shook his head and turned his attention to the cashier, who looked relieved to see the back of the huge German woman.

Kurt could sympathise.

*******'*******

After leaving Wal-Mart, it took Ilsa another 10 minutes to drive back to the underground parking lot at the St. Marks Hotel. She pulled into her designated parking spot and turned the engine off with the click of her car key. Even under the gloom of the parking lot, she still managed to catch a glimpse of a flash of a green roof coming from the direction of the Boston Tipton. She gave a derisive snort, turned around and began walking towards the elevators.

She entered the brightly lit lobby of the St. Marks, the chandeliers overhead making the entire room glisten with luxurious ambience. She made her way towards the manager's desk and began promptly dealing with a hotel patron who had made a reservation. When that was complete, she took her parcel from Wal-Mart and made her way through the service entrance to head back to her own hotel suite. A few of the hotel employees gave her nervous smiles, but she ignored them as she passed.

Ilsa made it up to her suite in record time, swiping at the door with her card key till it flashed green. She slipped through as the door clicked back into place and put some of the dog food tins she had purchased for her dog, Blitzkrieg, in a section of the pantry.

She decided to put the household cleaner in the closet where she kept her bowling ball, so she'd remember to only use it for that purpose and not for cleaning the suite itself. She used a completely different brand of household cleaner for that purpose; she didn't trust the hotel maids to do a thorough job of cleaning the suite.

Ilsa opened up the closet in question, which turned out to be an old family heirloom which she had inherited from her late grandmother. It was made out of solid oak with intricate and ornate designs of roses and wreaths carved into the wood. She opened the closet doors and bent forward, dipping her head deep into the closet to switch on a light.

The glare of the naked bulb threw the entire closet into sharp relief, illuminating every nook and cranny of its surface. It reflected off the numerous pictures pasted onto the back onto the wall, along with newspaper clippings and extracts of magazine articles. A young man's face shone out of the pictures, his tanned skin contrasting with his dark hair. His light brown eyes were crinkled with happiness and he had the whitest teeth that anyone could ever imagine on a musician.

Ilsa's bowling ball was situated on the first level of the closet. She calmly placed the household cleaner next to the bowling ball and retrieved her favourite photo from the closet wall. She gazed at the faded picture with a reminiscent smile on her face. Kurt Martin looked every bit as good as he did when this picture was taken of him by one of his band mates, a broad smile on his face, which accentuated his handsome features. With the green and lush trees surrounding the stately buildings of the town square of little Fürth, Ilsa remembered what it was like to love the place where you came from, the place where you were born.

Kurt had given her the photograph right before he and his band had left Fürth and continued their acoustic set throughout the rest of Germany. Ilsa had never forgotten that magically passionate night that they had spent together for as long as she had lived.

But it was in the past.

Seeing Kurt Martin in Wal-Mart of all places had been a shock. But like any crisis that arose, Ilsa had learnt to deal with each one with singularly malicious insults and snide comments, bordering on cold detachment. She was no longer a groupie, she was a hotel manager now.

"Till ve meet again, Herr Martin," Ilsa breathed in a husky tone.

Then her lips danced briefly across the faded picture, right where Kurt's lips were located. Then she placed the memento back on the inner wall of her closet before shutting the doors with a loud click. And then she returned to her usually brisk manner as she strolled towards her front door and let herself out. There were new customers that needed to check-in. For now, she'd have to forget that Kurt Martin could very well be just a few feet away from her at the Tipton with those twin terrors he called sons and his ex-wife, Carey, whom Ilsa detested.

So close, and yet so far away at the same time.

*****'*****

**_A/N_**_**: **I told you it was a weird pairing. A big thank you to Lody for inspiring yet another one of my Strange Love oneshots :)_

_Kurt Martin is played Robert Torti. He has a recurring role in The Suite Life franchise as the father of Zack and Cody Martin, who is a musician and is renowned for being somewhat of a womaniser. _

_Ilsa Shickelgrubermeiger-Von Helsing der Keppelugerhofer (whoo, had to take a breath there) is played by Caroline Rhea. She has a recurring role in the Suite Life of Zack and Cody as the manager of the St Marks Hotel (the Tipton's rival) and is renowned for her mean-spirited and competitive behaviour, and the prominent black mole on her face, which she supposedly has no knowledge of. _


End file.
